考研英语作文批改

directions:
Suppose you are going to study abroad and share an apartment with John, a local student, write him an email to
  1) tell him about your living habits, and
  2) ask for advice about living there。
以下是我写的作文,求:
指明问题
给出建议,最好包含句子和词汇替换等具体问题,操作性越强越好
感激不尽!有用的话一定追加追加再追加财富!谢谢大神或老师指点!如果方便的话能转战!QQ指导一下最好啦,离考试不足20天,若有帮助,我愿意在事成之后奉上全部财富!!泪谢!
Dear John,
I am gonging to live with you during my life overseas next year and I am writing the e-mail to introduce myself to you as well as ask some advice about living there in your country.
Primarily, as a traditional Chinese I sleep and get up early every day to enjoy an energetic life. Next, I would like to eat Chinese food instead of the diet what you eat because of my personal taste. In addition, as a music fan, playing guitar in our accommodation may be a daily activity in my life.
You must have something to share with me and I am looking forward to receiving your reply.

第1个回答  2014-12-14
你这个作文,还算不错。我会给它个80分。
1.1

Dear John, I am gonging to
live with you during my life overseas next year and I am writing the e-mail to
introduce myself to you as well as ask some advice about living there in your
country.

[教师点评]

[搭配统计] 动名搭配 ask...advice 在教材中出现过
178 次
SeeAlso: require advice16,expect advice4

[搭配统计] 动名搭配 write...e-mail
在教材中出现过 189 次
SeeAlso: compose e-mail17,write email3

[学习提示] 易混词汇: advice, opinion,
progposal, suggestion, recommendation, view 均含“意见,建议”之意。
advice:
普通用词,侧重依据个人经验、学识和正确判断而提出的忠言。
opinion:
日常用词,泛指对某事物的想法和意见。
progposal:
指正式提出来供研究、采纳或实行的建议。
suggestion:
普通用词,语气比advice婉转客气,也不如proposal正式。着重为改进工作、解决困难等提出的建议,有时含所提建议不一定正确,仅供参考的意味。
recommendation:
指在自己经历的基础上而提出的有益建议、意见或忠告。
view:
侧重指对重大的或引起公众关注的问题所持的看法和态度。

[批改提示]
country表示“国家”。注意与state的区别。详情点击

[批改提示] 注意country和nation,village区别。
名词country和nation均可表示“国家”,但country主要指国土与居民, 也可指祖国或国籍所属的国家[a
nation or state with its land or population];而nation着重指一个政府领导下的人民或民族的统一体[a large
group of people living in one area and usu having an intiependent
government]。名词country可表示“农村”,“乡下”[the land outside cities or
towns],与city相对,必须加定冠词,不能用来指具体的某一村庄;而village表示“村庄”[a group of houses etc which is
smaller than a town]。

2.1

Primarily, as a traditional
Chinese I sleep and get up early every day to enjoy an energetic life.

[教师点评]

[搭配统计] 动名搭配 enjoy...life 在教材中出现过
1397 次
SeeAlso: love
life399,savor life26,relish life26,enjoy living24,enjoy animation8

[学习提示] 易混词汇: active, energetic,
vigorous, brisk, lively 均有“积极的,活跃的”之意。
active:
指有活动能力,强调与消极或休止相反的积极活动状态。
energetic:
提精力充沛、奋力从事某事业。
vigorous:
指不仅表现积极、有生气,而且固有精力和活力十分旺盛。
brisk:
指动作敏捷、充满活力、轻快活泼地从事某项工作或活动。
lively: 侧重支轮船快,机智,有生气。

[批改提示] 注意enjoy和appreciate的区别。
appreciate:
多用于文学方面,强调对事物有深入的理解能力,且能鉴赏。
enjoy:
普通用词,使用广泛,程度不及appreciate,多指从外界事物中得到喜悦与满足,领略到乐趣,享受意味强。

[批改提示] 注意Chinese和the
Chinese区别。
Chinese用作名词,表示“中国人”[a person born or living in China, a
person of Chinese descent]时,是可数名词,单复数同形;指中国人民或特指—个或数个中国人时,均加冠词,泛指时不能加。

2.2

Next, I would like to eat
Chinese food instead of the diet what you eat because of my personal
taste.

[教师点评]

[搭配统计] 动名搭配 eat...food 在教材中出现过 2300 次
SeeAlso: consume food130,feed
food60,eat_up food6

[学习提示] 易混词汇: due to, owing to,
because of, thanks to 均表示“由于”之意。
due
to: 用于较庄重的书面语中,侧重“起因于”,在句中多作表语,有时作状语。
owing to: 可以和due
to换用,但在句中多作状语,也可作表语。
because of:
着重某种原因的理由,在句中通常作状语。
thanks to:
突出一种感激之情,含“多亏”意味。

[批改提示] 注意Chinese和the
Chinese区别。
Chinese用作名词,表示“中国人”[a person born or living in China, a
person of Chinese descent]时,是可数名词,单复数同形;指中国人民或特指—个或数个中国人时,均加冠词,泛指时不能加。

2.3

In addition, as a music
fan, playing guitar in our accommodation may be a daily activity in my
life.

[教师点评]

[名词错误] 冠词缺失,建议将playing
guitar改为playing the guitar。

[学习提示] 易混词汇: lodging,
accommodation, apartment, flae, quarters, suite 均有“住处”之意。
lodging:
常用lodgins,指临时租借的房间或宿舍。
accommodation:
泛指各种居住住所,一般指暂时下榻之地。
apartment:
通常指占用或居住时间较长的成套房间,在美国比较常用。
flat:
多用于英国、澳大利亚和新西兰。指同一层建筑物上组成一个居住单元的几个房间。
quarters:
指某一部分人集中的居住区。
suite:
可泛指任何设备完善的一套房间,但多指包括起居室、卧室和浴室的陈设较豪华的套间。

[批改提示] 注意daily和diurnal区别。
形容词daily和diurnal均可表示“每日的”[happening every
day].但daily是常用词,修饰日常发生的普通事;而diurnal是正式用同,修饰每24小时周期发生的变化或运动,尤指天体运动。

3.1

You must have something to
share with me and I am looking forward to receiving your reply.

[教师点评]

[搭配统计] 动名搭配 receive...reply
在教材中出现过 232 次
SeeAlso: receive response866,receive answer206,have
reply121,get
reply119,find
reply6,invite reply3,obtain reply3

[学习提示] 易混词汇: accept, receive,
admit, take 均有“接受,接纳”之意。
accept:
强调主动地或自愿地接受,或者说,经过考虑后同意接受。
receive:
着重仅仅接到或收到这一支轮船或事实,而不含采取主动或积极行动的意思。
admit: 作“接受”讲时,强调准许或批准。
take:
与receive同意,是receive的日常用法,侧重不带主观意愿地收下或接受。

[批改提示] 注意must和have
to的区别。

[高分表达] 高分词组,look forward
to意为“期望/等待……”。

[高分表达] 高分词组,look forward
to意为“期盼/期待”。
第2个回答  2014-12-09
有个叫“批改网”的网站,你可以看看。
我们同是考验人,我今年读研二,建议这样的问题最好请教你身边的英语老师。追问

谢啦~你说的我已经用过啦,批改网还是有它的局限哒。大二就结束大学英语课程了,很久不联系老师,所以不太方便,希望碰上大神帮我,不行就回寝室缠室友了。

追答

哈哈,客气啦。
老话不是说么~一日为师,终生为父~老师很欢迎学生,特别是以前教过的学生去请教的。老师都特别欣赏有上进心,积极进取的孩子的。
试一试总是有希望的!
祝成功!!!!

第3个回答  2014-12-13
Q:二四六六六三六零七四!