Hello!
Our neighbour's son was getting married at an out-of-town church, and my husband and I were invited.
我们邻居的孩子将在一座外地的教堂举行婚礼，我和丈夫都受邀前往。
We immediately rushed out to a store, and I bought a nice pink dress with a jacket.
我们立马冲向了一家商店，我买了一件好看的粉色裙子和一件夹克衫。
The dress was a little tight, but I had a month to go before the June 30 wedding and I would lose a few pounds.
那裙子稍有点紧，但我还有一个月才要去参加那6月30号的婚礼，（因此）我只要减肥减掉几磅就行了。
June 29 came and, of course, I hadn't lost a single pound; in fact I had gained two.
6月30号到了，当然，我一磅也没减掉；事实上我还长了两磅。
But I figured a nice new girdle (紧身内衣) would cure everything.
但我估计一件好的新近身内衣就能解决一切。
附： figure n. 图形, 形状, 数字
v. 描绘, 演算, 表示; 出现, 出名, 估计
这里figure 作动词“估计”之意
So on our way out of the city we stopped once again at the store.
所以，在我们去城外（参加婚礼）的路上，我们再次停在路边的商店。
I ran in and told the clerk I needed a large-size girdle.
我跑进去并告诉店员我需要一件大好的紧身内衣。
The shop assistant found the box with the described girdle marked "LG", and asked if I would like to try it on.
店员找到了那个上面印有“LG”的盒子并询问我是否愿意试穿。
“Oh, no, a large will fit just right. I needn't try it on.”
“哦，不，大号肯定可以了。我没必要再试了”
The next morning was rather hot, so I waited to get dressed until about 45 minutes before time to go.
第二天上午非常热，所以直到要走的时间前45分钟我才去穿那紧身内衣。
附：rather adv. 相当, 有点儿, 颇; 倒不如; 宁可, 宁愿; 而不是
这里做“相当；很”之意
I opened the box only to find a new girdle in a small size.
我打开那盒子却发现里面是件小号的紧身内衣
Since it was too late to find another one and the dress wouldn't fit right without a girdle, a fight broke out in the hotel room between me and the girdle.
因为已经没时间去再找另一件并且不穿紧身内衣我就没法穿那裙子，于是，一场我和紧身内衣间的战斗在宾馆房间内爆发了。（拟人说法，增加搞笑性）
Have you ever tried to shake 20 pounds of potatoes into a five-pound bag?
你曾尝试过把20磅的马铃薯塞进一个只能装5磅东西的包里吗？
That's it.
那就是它了。（即“我”强行要穿上紧身内衣）
Finally my husband, laughing like crazy, got hold of each side and shook me down into it.
最终，我的丈夫笑地像疯了一般，抓住“紧身内衣”的两边把我摇进去了。
At once I put on the pink dress, which didn't match my red face well, and was ready to go.
当我把那件与我已经憋红的脸一点也不相配的粉色裙子穿上时，我们准备好出发 。
Finally we got to the church.
最终我们到了教堂。
I heard one of the people say that they were having a High Mass.
我听一个人说人们正在做大弥撒
附High Mass
大弥撒
I turned to my husband and asked, "What is a High Mass?" He shrugged his shoulders.
我转向我丈夫问到“啥是大弥撒？”他耸了耸肩。
Unfortunately, I learned that this particular mass would last one hour, twenty-two minutes and eight and one half seconds—the priest (神父) was going to bless everything except my girdle.
不幸的是，我终于知道这大弥撒持续了1小时22分钟8秒半--神父会为所有除我紧身内衣外的东西祝福。
希望能帮到你 （不好意思，刚才没看完）
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